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Monday, January 17, 2005

Weapons Of Mass Distraction

Fresh from the net, late breaking news from the heavily commercialized news center of the world, CNN. The banner headline reads : "U.S. PLANNING POSSIBLE ATTACK ON IRAQ."

Er ... What else is new?


News from the hallowed, hushed halls of CIA HQ, the Pentagon. This one's delivered fresh to you by the venerable news agency Reuters.

"U.S. Mulled Gay Sex Weapon." is how the headline goes, followed by "The Pentagon proposal called for drug to spur homosexual activity among the enemy." Adding that, "the proposal called for developing chemicals affecting human behavior 'so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected.'"

Fortunately, or unfortunately, whatever comes first, depends on where you stand actually, gender sensitivity, open mindedness and all that, this sooo American G.I. response to chemical warfare has been rejected.

Because this news practically sells itself, we move on to...


Another attempt at non-lethal weapons, US Military-style, one that won't see the light of day, sadly, because ...

"it involved creating 'severe and lasting halitosis' to help sniff out fighters trying to blend with civilians."

I think CIA lab rats will do well as moonlighting guests in "Who's Line Is It Anyway?"


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