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Friday, January 21, 2005

Supersized Me

A leisurely cruise on two legs along HV dela Costa street. A little way off, a lone cigarette vendor unpacking his carcinogenic wares. His eyes suddenly affixed, in a trance, drawn to the nether-region right between my torso and the groin. Too much lard there. Lactobacilli-Shirota strain and company.

That's it. That's it for striped shirts ... horizontally striped shirts.

---------

Remote past. Before Athkins Diet became a buzzword among overweight hopefuls. Or the Subway Sandwich guy testimonials. There was tuna. One can a day. In vegetable oil. Nothing but. Nothing else. The smaller the milligram content on the label, the better. And gallons of coffee in between. I lost 20 pounds in a little over a month. Everyone suspected the use of substances that would put me behind bars for good.

Wrong. It's just tuna. Yeah. It's pretty hardcore.

----------

Officemate : Whoa. You're getting fat!

Alexis : Err... I have a figure to keep.

Officemate : And what figure is that, aver?

Alexis : Father figure.

Officemate walks out.

Oh, joy.


4 Comments:

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enjoyed your blog - picturesque writing, sweet. may you find a publisher salivating for your wares in blogdom, friend. --marti (marti-is-at.blogspot.com)

 

Thank you. And yes, the tuna is now an endangered species. I'm shifting to anchovies this time. Hehe. Cheers! :D

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